Sex Ed
by Sunny SNSD
Summary: Class Z is forced to take Sex Ed, and are split between boys and girls. Unfortunately for the boys, "Doctor" Arecia is their teacher, and is about to show how awkward she can get. For Regoli. Rated for sexual content. No pairings, save for AreciaxCreepyness.


Here you go Regoli~

This is my fic I mad for Regoli as part of a trade, for her wonderful pixelation skills. It's an Ace centric fic mostly, but I included the other boys as well ^_^.

I also decided to put in my crossover character in it just for fun! He's based off K'(pronounced Kay Dash) from King of Fighters~~ If anyone wants to know how he looks like I suggest looking him up on DeviantArt since there's some pretty good artwork of him in there~

This story branched from the fact that the Suzaku students thought of Arecia as some sort of a weirdo without any knowledge of her origin and the fact they see her as a witch. I always saw her as a pedo type of teach XD.

Hope you like it, Regoli!

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><p>She is <strong>so<strong> weird.

That was the statement that ran through Ace's mind over and over again.

And it was true, at least to all the males of the school

Arecia Al-Rashina, head of the Magic Research Division, was beyond the line awkward.

It was in the middle of the war, but apparently Headmaster Khalia had decided **sex **education was needed in the curriculum, or in his words(and in a creeily jolly tone):

"They're all young and can die any day in this war! They're bound to let go sometime school rules or not, so at least lets teach them how~"

Ace thought it was the dumbest idea anyone had ever had. Sure, what Khalia had said was true. And sure maybe even some of the Class Zero students were doing it.

He gave an eye to Jack and Cater

But there was no reason to hold the elite Class Zero in a classroom to teach them about how to procreate!

"Now we're going to separate the boys and the girls from each other. Ladies follow me, gentlemen you'll be going with ." Emina said, whilst creepily eyeing Rem(1)

As the girls left to go to another classroom the males scooted up to the middle front rows.

"Alright _boys,_" Arecia said with a tone too suggestive for a teacher to use "let me just set up the materials we need for this class." She smirked, her gold eyes half-lidding.

'Dear Etro, Kurasame Sensei is out there covering the front lines for us while we're stuck in this Suzaku forsaken classroom with the most creepy part of the faculty ever, who actually expects us to call her _Mother_.'

Ace secretly wondered if she got some sort of weird satisfaction from the students calling her the nickname

Looking around his blue orbs tried to size up the rest of the males in the room.

Trey was sitting properly, hands folded on the desk, expression stony as he was ready to learn any other subject.

Eight was slightly blushing his face matching his scarlet hair, trying to avert his eyes from Arecia's….mounds by looking around the room.

Nine was leaned back in his chair, scowl on as usual, feet propped on the table and hands behind his head.

Jack was blatantly staring at Arecia's chest, smirk plastered on his face.

King finished polishing one of his guns and summoned it away, looking their new temporary instructor in the eye.

Machina was just staring out into space, not really paying attention to his surroundings.

Joker(2) took off his red-orange tinted glasses, revealing his very light blue eyes, and ran a red gloved hand through his messy white hair, his expression bored and emotionless, if slightly agitated.

After she set things up on Kurasame's desk she turned to her mini class and asked the most blatant crude question to start out with:

"So which of you _men_ have actually touched a nice round pair of tits?"

Ace immediately blushed and his eyes widened at hearing the witch-lady's question. The other boys did the same, equally surprised at the question as the blond card-wielder.

Arecia looked around, the fox like expression not leaving her face.

"No one? What about you Machina?"

Said student looked up, his face completely red at being called out on whim.

"Um, uh, w-what ma'am, I-well-um I-,"

"No? Not even Rem's?" Arecia prodded.

Machina's eyes imitated saucers as they got even wider

"NO! Of course not I would never do such a vile thing!" He responded

"Vile?" Arecia walked over to where Machina sat, leaning on his desk with both arms pushing against the sides her chest, popping them out of her already skimpy shirt and dangling right in the poor teen's face

"Why dear boy, it's just human nature." She purred.

Machina looked like he wanted to die.

"What about you Jack?" she turned to said blond, who had been laughing at the whole ordeal.

Jack immediately stopped laughing, instead putting a goofy grin on his face.

"Yes, ma'am!" he replied and Ace nearly face palmed at the enthusiasim he showed in this type of topic.

'Then again when isn't he enthusiastic?' Ace asked himself.

"Oh? You have? Well was it anyone in your class?"

Jack's face fell and he looked away embarrassed

"N-nah, Why would I-"

"Was it perhaps a gun-wielding red-head?"

Jack's mouth opened in a wide 'o' his face written in disbelief. The rest of the class gave him incredulous looks.

Arecia smirked and sized up the rest of the room.

"Eight?"

The martial artist jumped and looked up, looking as if he had just had a heart-attack.

"Um…..no?" he stated, unsure of himself to answer the pedophilic teacher's question.

"You haven't? Why, you're such a _handsome_ young man, just like the rest of the lads in this class."

Arecia strode over, swaying her hips in a cat like fashion over towards Eight, briefly putting her hand on Trey's shoulder on purpose.

Eight briefly compared the scene to a Animal stalking towards her prey.

"Would you like to?"

Eight almost fainted.

"Um…no thanks?" Once again he replied, unsure of himself.

Arecia smirked but strode away to the next victim of her sexual assault.

"What about you Joker?"

The tanned youth briefly turned his head to the woman, and put back on his signature sunglasses and looked away once again, his armed crossed.

"Che, no."

Unpleased by the blunt response, Arecia finally strode back to the front of the class.

Ace almost let out a sigh of relief that he hadn't been targeted.

"Alright, let's leave from the kiddy stuff and get on to _real _business." She licked her lips and looked around the group and pulled something small out of her pocket. "Who knows what this is?"

And there in her fingers was a small square package wrapped in some sort of shiny aluminum wrap.

Ace gasped, immediately recognizing what it was.

King coughed.

Nine took his feet of the table and sat at attention, suddenly more interested.

Ace looked around, and was aghast to see Trey _actually _had his hand up to answer.

Arecia raised her brow at the hand, expecting more flustered faces, but nonetheless called on the archer.

Trey put his hand down and took a deep breath and closed his eyes.

"Aw great, here he goes." Nine muttered.

"It's a Condom . A condom is a barrier device most commonly used during sexual intercourse to reduce the probability of pregnancy and spreading sexually transmitted diseases, STDs-such as gonorrhea, syphilis, and HIV. It is put on a man's-"

"Do you know how to use it?"

Trey suddenly stopped and looked at the purple-haired woman.

"Um….what?"

"Do. You. Know. How. To. Use. It?" Arecia repeated, not missing a beat.

"Or better yet, _have _you used it before? Do you know how to put it on?"

Trey blinked, and looked around at the other boys who were looking at him expectantly.

He didn't have an answer.

Trey looked down at his hands in disbelief.

_He_ **didn't **have an _answer._

"I-I don't know. I can't answer that. I'm worthless, absolutely worthless. I'm as worthless as a rug you can step on, a fly you can slap away, I'm so…"

Trey started rambling to himself incoherently in his own shock.

Ace sighed and shaked his head

'She shouldn't have asked that, someone should have warned Trey's OCD(3) about not knowing things'

Arecia leered at the boys and then asked the most shocking question the whole day.

"So you don't? Well would you like me to **show** you?"

That was it.

Machina choked.

Eight really did faint this time.

King spilled out a drink from his mouth ('where'd he get that from?' the thought quickly flashed through Ace's mind.)

Said drink spilled out on Nine, who was sitting in front of King, but was too shocked to care, his facial expression akin to a deer in headlights.

Trey was still mumbling insults to himself.

Jack for once in his life didn't even have a smidge of a grin and just looked mortified.

Joker's sunglasses slipped slightly off his nose showing has widened, shocked eyes.

And Ace himself just sat there, an mask of pure disbelief on his face and he couldn't help but utter a faint:

"Wha?"

Unfortunately for him Arecia had heard his little outburst and zoned her eyes on the poor gambler.

Ace prayed to every God he knew that his dear, dear "Mother" wouldn't use him for any sort of molestation/demonstration.

"Ah, thank you Ace for volunteering instead, now _you_ can show us-"

'O Great Suzaku no' Ace started praying squeezing his eyes shut.

"With this plastic model."

Ace opened his orbs and widened his eyes.

"What model?" he asked half relieved and half afraid at what her answer was.

"Well, _this _model!"

And if Arecia Al-Rashina couldn't have creeped her students out enough for one day she pulled from her box…..it.

It was there.

Clear and glass.

Standing up.

Intricately made.

In the model of a man's pride.

Now no reaction came from the class, just pure shock and disgust.

And with that Ace stood up, his eyes closed, and marched out of the classroom.

That night, if you happened to tread past the boys dormitory and walk by Ace's room, you would hear purification chants being spoken and cleansing incense seeping out of the bottom of the door.

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><p>Notes Time!:<p>

1)Added this last minute as a quick edit and humor. But seriously, did you see the way Emina leered towards Rem in the latest TGS trailer? She was like going to smother her in her chest o_0 . She must have a thing for Rem.

2) Once again my crossover character. Like I said at the top, he's based on K' from KOF and its a good idea to look him up on DeviantArt too see what he looks like.

3) Sorry, but I could totally see Trey freaking about about not being able to answer a question, with him being a ranting know-it-all. And yes, I got the description from wikipedia.

One thing, I've toned down Nine's perverted antics that seem to appear in fics. Rewatching all the videos, specifically the latest TGS video gives me more of an impression that Nine has more of a rough and grumpy personality with flashes of idiocy and rashness and occasionally perversion. So I've saved most of the perversion for Jack since he seems to be more of the type.

Another note, I officially ship JackxCater. Thanks to Dikemon and his story Dear Friends, and the people at the FF13 Forums who made me love it and where it's a pretty popular couple. Now I just can't get enough of them X3.

Hope you guys enjoyed, especially Regoli!~~


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